Earlier today a case of “Mustard Rage” on Vancouver Island gained national media attention. Much to the dismay of Zane Caplansky, owner of Caplansky’s Delicatessen with his own line of renowned mustards, a motorist became violent when the staff at a local restaurant forgot the mustard on his burger. Caplansky recently relocated to Tofino, B.C. and finds himself agog at the passion for condiments on Vancouver Island, his new home.
“My first thought was for the safety of the restaurant workers,” Caplansky said. “Everyone makes mistakes, but no one deserves to be on the receiving end of this kind of condiment consternation.” Caplansky has a long history of making mistakes so his empathy for the staff is authentic.
“My second thought was to realise that the blame lies with the burger chain,” he said. “How is it possible, in this day and age, when we know the health benefits of mustard, how it improves the flavour of everything it touches and how mustard is the most Canadian of all the condiments that Wendy’s doesn’t automatically put mustard on every sandwich.” He asked growing indignant. “Wolenski’s in Montreal got it right: you need to charge extra to NOT have mustard on your sandwich.”
This afternoon Mr. Caplansky received a call from a concerned customer with an offer: “Although she asked to remain anonymous,” he said “this soft-hearted customer wants to buy one of my Variety Packs with four jars of all-natural Canadian mustard for the motorist who lost his cool today,” he said.
Caplansky plans to contact RCMP Const. Nancy Sagar in the morning in order to relay the anonymous customer’s offer: if the mustardless motorist comes into the West Shore RCMP, he’s welcome to claim the Variety Pack – no questions asked – to soothe his pain. “The donor recommends the Spicy flavour although, personally, I think he should try the Mild,” Caplansky said. “Dude needs to chill,” he added.
For further comment Zane Caplansky can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or on his still unchanged Ontario cell 647.990.3852
(Visited 65 times, 1 visits today)